Coming Back Close to God When You’ve Been Standing at a Distance
Lately, I’ve been realizing something hard: I don’t want to be a lukewarm Christian.
Not because I stopped loving God. Not because I stopped believing in Him. But somewhere along the way, I think I slowly stepped back without fully realizing it. And that conviction hit me harder than I expected.
I think sometimes we imagine “walking away from God” as this dramatic moment where someone completely turns their back on Him. But I’m learning that spiritual distance can happen quietly. Sometimes it looks like rushed prayers, unopened Bibles, and only talking to God when life feels overwhelming. Sometimes it’s still going to church, still believing, still loving Him… while secretly feeling disconnected from intimacy with Him.
And since I’m being honest, I think grief and disappointment played a bigger role in that than I wanted to admit.
After our second transfer failed, something in me just felt tired. Not angry at God. Not unbelieving. Just exhausted. I still prayed, but not deeply the way I used to. I still read scripture sometimes, but my hunger for it wasn’t the same. I found myself surviving spiritually instead of truly pursuing God. And over time, I started realizing that I had become spiritually comfortable in ways I never wanted to be.
That realization scared me.
Because I don’t want a surface-level relationship with Jesus. I don’t want to know about Him while standing at a distance from Him. I want closeness. I want surrender. I want the kind of relationship where I’m seeking Him daily, not just when life hurts or when I need answers.
The verse that keeps staying on my heart lately is:
“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.”
— Jeremiah 29:13
That verse made me ask myself if I had truly still been seeking God with all my heart, or if I had slowly allowed exhaustion, grief, disappointment, and distraction to take up more space than intimacy with Him.
Because there’s a difference between believing in God and actually pursuing Him.
I think one of the most dangerous places spiritually is being “close enough” to God that everything looks fine outwardly, while internally your passion for Him has started fading. That’s why the verses about lukewarm faith in Revelation have felt so convicting to me lately.
“I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot…”
— Revelation 3:15-16
Those verses used to make me uncomfortable because they sounded harsh. But lately, they’ve started sounding loving instead. Because conviction is proof that God still wants closeness with us. He doesn’t convict us to shame us; He convicts us to draw us back near to Him.
And honestly, I think that’s exactly what He’s been doing in me lately.
Calling me back.
Back to intimacy. Back to prayer that isn’t rushed. Back to opening my Bible not out of obligation, but because I genuinely want to hear His voice again. Back to remembering that faith was never meant to be something we squeeze into our lives when convenient. God wants relationship with us, not leftovers.
I’ve also realized how easy it is to feel disqualified after seasons of struggle. The enemy loves convincing us that because we drifted, because we struggled, because we’ve been spiritually dry or emotionally exhausted, we should just stay distant from God altogether. But scripture says the opposite.
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
— James 4:8
I love how simple that verse is. It doesn’t say to fix yourself first or become spiritually perfect first. It simply says to come close.
And maybe that’s what someone else needs to hear too.
Maybe you’ve felt spiritually tired lately, like me. Maybe disappointment made you quieter. Maybe grief left you numb. Maybe you’ve been going through the motions while secretly feeling distant from God. If that’s you, I want you to know this: God is not asking you to perform for Him. He’s asking you to come back close.
I think this season has been teaching me that real faith isn’t built during easy seasons. It’s built when life hurts and you choose to keep seeking God anyway. It’s built when prayers go unanswered and you still trust Him. It’s built when your heart feels weary, but you keep coming back to His presence again and again.
And maybe that’s what being fully committed to God actually looks like sometimes - not perfection, but persistence. Not always feeling strong spiritually, but refusing to stop coming back to Him.
So if you’ve been distant lately too, maybe this is your reminder that it’s not too late to come back close. God’s grace never stopped reaching for you. He’s still there, still loving you, still calling you deeper.
And I think that invitation back to intimacy with Him might be one of the kindest forms of love there is.
God, thank You for loving me enough to draw me back when my heart starts drifting. Thank You for never giving up on me, even in seasons where I’ve felt distant, exhausted, distracted, or spiritually tired. Forgive me for the moments where I allowed disappointment, grief, or comfort to pull me away from intimacy with You. I don’t want surface-level faith. I don’t want to only seek You when life hurts. Create in me a hunger for Your presence again. Teach me how to pursue You daily and wholeheartedly, even in waiting seasons and hard seasons. Bring my heart back to full surrender and remind me that Your grace is always greater than my weakness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Jeremiah 29:13
Revelation 3:15-16
James 4:8
Matthew 6:33
Psalm 51:10
Romans 12:2
